Why start a blog? Well that is a great question. I think it has been something I have thought about for a few years now, as I have begun to figure out who I truly am and what I want to do with my life. The past few years as I will fill you in on later have been anything but calm, cool and collective. It has been more like some sort of crazy roller coaster that you’re begging to get off but manages to break every time you think the end is near, which I have in fact been on one of those only it was a Ferris wheel, leaving you constantly wondering if it will ever end until eventually you start to maybe, just maybe, enjoy the ride or the fire company comes.
Before that I was trying desperately to be the person I thought I was supposed to be. I went to the office early everyday, worked my butt off, never left before my boss, came home worked out, went to the grocery store, made a healthy meal, went to bed repeat. Only the same thing would happen regardless of the organization I was working for. At about 6 months in I would feel the insatiable pull for change, in essence I would reach the point where I could no longer handle the boredom and would start to spend my lunch “hour” aka 20 mins max trying to find a new job in the communication field. When I did at around month 9 I would get super amped for the next position before this whole cycle repeated itself. I begged myself internally to just be the person who could go to the office and just sit there and do the job but I simply could not. Fast forward to about 6 years post college and I finally called it quits on the rat race and went back to school to pursue something I had initially started adult life as…… a teacher.
How did I end up a teacher? Well sort of like everything in my adult life. Trial, error and my dad. See it was 2009, I had just graduated college with a Communication degree, the sky had fallen, there were no jobs and well I needed one like yesterday as serving crab cakes to tourists was getting stale by the second, so I started applying for everything. I mean I liked kids, had worked at a summer camp it was sort of a natural fit. I got accepted into an Americorps program in Austin, TX as a kindergarten English reading and writing tutor and classroom assistant. This was career one.
Again about 6 months in something was not right. I was burned out. I could not leave it at the school and took every child’s problems home with me wondering if they were going to be ok and feeling so helpless and honestly like reading and writing was not going to help some of my kids enough. On top of that I was working 4 other volunteer positions ranging from soup kitchen to fitness mentor to farmer’s market assistant and helping launch an after school literacy program. So I left the program early packed up my apartment in Austin and drove back to Philadelphia. Now you may be asking well clearly teaching was not your thing so how just how did you end up pursuing post graduate education in early elementary education. Well I think that is the beauty of the mind, it has a way of brushing over all the bad parts and painting this glossy image of how dreamy it all was. Plus I wanted out of my last office job like nothing else. I felt like a robot and that just will never work for me so I set off for two years of education to obtain a teaching certificate, only to realize that what I actually did not like about teaching was the whole education system and how it sets children up to fail. More about this later. Needless to say teaching is not for me.
So here I am writing a blog hoping someone else may find comfort, laughter, maybe some happy tears or an ah ha moment knowing they are not alone in trying to figure out the twists and turns of life. Who knows maybe we’ll even figure it out together.